AVRIL = EXTREMELY ANNOYING

I am not sure you had a chance to read Avril Lavigne's latest interview in Q Magazine.* If you didn't, I can spare you the time and effort and give you a short and sweet summary of it. AVRIL LAVIGNE is increasingly annoying and seems to think she is some sort of super human chick with incredible talents. If you can read this article without wanting to vomit everything you ate last night, then I salute you.

1. Deal with It - she claims that she was "born to deal with her fame" and to deal with the hundreds of heads that turn to look at her when she enters a room. So humble of her. We love her down to earth attitude.

2. On her IMMACULATE image - she claims that she got it all, beauty, brains, talent - the works. What we like to ask is, Avril did you not take off those glasses your mom gave you when you were 5? You know the ones that make everything look pink and nice?

3. Better to get "even" than get mad - She claims that she has learned how to channel all the negative energy she gets from the press into her songs and so we are to assume that is why her songs are so "mad"? Wake up girl, you are singing about Skater boys..........MAD?

4. Party hard, but not too hard - Oh, really? And it really takes someone like Avril to teach us that. We didn't know that drugs and booze was bad for you. Thank you Avril for enlightening us. It has really brightened up our lives to have you around. And we also have to admit that you have always been the icon of "the wholesome girl".

5. Practice good karma - She apparently told her assistants to give some of her clothes to the (and I quote) "Hurricane Thingy......send it to Katrina" You're so well informed Avril. It really sets a great example. Plus, what are the Katrina victims supposed to do with your clothes, some torn fish net tights, some jeans with holes in them and some suspenders? Really.

6. Be grateful - That's easy coming from a girl who is making millions stealing songs from her former song writers and releasing shitty music. No pain with lots of gain. Seriously Avril. You are so not the right person to say BE GRATEFUL. And to top it all off, she mentions that "poor people should be thankful for what they have."

7. Be spiritual - Apparently our little skater girl practices Feng-Shui and calls herself spiritual. How convenient. You employ someone to Feng-Shui your whole house and WHOOPS you're spiritual.

8. Extend yourself - She wants to get into acting but has not gotten into it yet cause all the roles that were offered to her were not good enough. So she is waiting for the big break, the big cahuna....where she will be able to act and then get an Oscar. Ok Avril. You're still wearing those pink glasses.

9. Find Mr Right - Aha. Sure. And that is something we all can plan. Good thinking Avril. Did you ever think that you might end up getting divorced?**

10. Love yourself - ok - we like this advice. But we don't like her comment: "People love me or people hate me, but I am comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway, if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."***
People do I really need to comment on this one?


* Q Magazine in the UK
** Didn't you just mention the word Karma? Ring any bells?
*** Gazillionth reason to hate Avril even more.